


Contradictions

by epiproctan



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff, Hate Sex, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, One Shot Collection, Webcam/Video Chat Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-12 07:48:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2101452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epiproctan/pseuds/epiproctan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>KouNoi one-shots</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“I kissed Aoba once.”

Noiz isn’t sure what spurred his confession, but all of a sudden it’s coming out of his mouth, and then it’s suspended in the room, oppressive and motionless. Maybe he said it because now there isn’t much left between them that’s a secret, and maybe because somehow he felt like it was just something Koujaku didn’t know. It’s not a big deal at all, so there was no harm in saying it.

Then why does the air in the room now feel so thick?

Noiz pretends not to notice and goes back to playing with his coil, but from the other end of the couch Koujaku turns to look at him. Noiz can feel his eyes, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t react to the way his gaze moves over him, challenging and searching, or how Koujaku draws closer. He catches a glare in his peripherals, but doesn’t look at Koujaku until the older man grabs his chin and wrenches his face towards him so that they’re looking into each others’ eyes.

Koujaku kisses him. Violent and merciless and deep.

Maybe he thinks that if he kisses him hard enough, he can still taste Aoba’s lips somewhere in there, and maybe he thinks that through Noiz he can get that chance he never had. He is angry, his kiss says, teeth and a driving tongue, and it’s because Noiz has revealed that this whole time he already has somehow gotten the thing Koujaku had always wanted. He wants to take that from Noiz, have it as his own, forcibly remove it from his lips. It probably doesn’t seem fair to him. He’s furious, and he’s jealous.

Noiz feels a weird discomfort in his chest, like something’s squeezing his heart too tight. He kisses Koujaku back, knocking his piercing against his teeth, shoving towards him as he usually does, but it’s hard to breathe for some reason. He’d thought Koujaku had forgotten about his feelings for Aoba, but he guesses he was wrong. He doesn’t know pain but this feeling like his ribcage is contracting is pretty sore. It’s dumb and lame and horrible, but somehow he feels a little bit lonely.

Koujaku pulls back and hangs low and dangerous over Noiz. Their eyes meet, and Noiz is pressing back against the weird choking in his throat. There’s an irritated flickering in Koujaku’s eyes, a kind that Noiz has seen before, just before getting punched in the gut, or at the very least told to go die somewhere, you shitty brat.

He doesn’t really want to hear what Koujaku’s going to say next, but he doesn’t have a choice. Koujaku opens his mouth.

“Don't ever kiss anyone but me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me on tumblr i'm lonely  
> epiproctan.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koujaku hears Noiz laugh.

The first time Koujaku ever heard Noiz laugh, really and truly laugh, was at 3 AM on a Saturday morning, on the couch in his living room.

He had his dick inside of him and had been in the process of fucking Noiz against the armrest when that familiar tickle crept down his upper lip. Immediately halting his motions, his hand flew to his face to check and

Of course. His fingers came away red.

“Shit,” he spat, glancing around for a tissue.

That's when he heard it.

It was a hoarse sound, rough with disuse and breathless, and quiet at first but building. It wasn’t a beautiful or melodic laugh, and Koujaku found himself thinking it fit the brat’s irritating image, but something about the way his nose scrunched up and he showed all his teeth when he threw his head back gave Koujaku a peculiar feeling. He felt it in his stomach, as though he was the one who was actually laughing instead of Noiz.

He couldn’t help but stare.

He was so caught up in it that until Noiz choked out, “Did I give you a nosebleed, old man?”  around his laughter, Koujaku had forgotten about his problem.

“N-no,” Koujaku spluttered, embarrassed, wiping quickly at his face. “This just happens sometimes—”

Koujaku definitely couldn’t tell him it was probably because Noiz’s expression just before this had made Koujaku want to feel him all the way down to the tips of his toes, that his fluttering eyelids and parted lips and red cheeks stirred something inside him and made his legs weak. That the way he’d been moaning, his voice low and husky and cool, had driven straight into his body and practically made him tremble with his need for _more_. That it was pretty rare, but when something turned him on _this_ much, he couldn’t stop the blood from dripping down from his nose.

Noiz laughed again, louder, as if he could see right through Koujaku’s words. God, Koujaku hated that, hated everything about this piece of shit…even if his laugh was cute, and it kind of made Koujaku’s head feel a little light and dizzy.

He needed to shut him up.

Snapping his hips forward _hard_ , he drove again into Noiz, shaking the laugh from its place in his throat and shaping it into a breathy moan. Luckily the incident hadn’t cancelled their impending orgasms but merely postponed them, and Koujaku wanted to get there soon. Before he completely lost all reason to this shitty brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one's going to be a lot sexier, stick with me please =)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking about an AU where all the characters meet over the internet. There's really not much other context for this, I just wanted an excuse to write Skype sex.

“Tell me,” demanded Noiz lazily, giving himself loose strokes. “What would you be doing right now, if you were here?”

Koujaku was already panting a little, heart tripping a bit, his eyes fixed on the movements of that pale hand over the metal pieces on his computer screen. “I’d already have you bent over a table,” he growled.

Noiz scoffed. “Wrong, old man.” He stopped to pull at the piercing at the tip, and Koujaku watched as he grew yet harder and bigger before his eyes. “You’d be the one bent over.”

Koujaku got so caught up in Noiz’s actions for a second, his reply was delayed. His own cock was hard in his hand, but Noiz’s was so much more interesting. “Never mind. I’d actually be shoving this down your throat. Maybe then you’d finally shut up, brat.”

Noiz smirked, and the expression made Koujaku simultaneously aroused and angry. “Tell me more.”

“I’d choke you on it,” Koujaku said, gruff and low.

“On that tiny thing?”

Despite his words, Noiz’s eyes were bright with interest and desire, trained on his computer screen, as he wrapped his fingers around more firmly and pumped harder. Koujaku watched as he scraped his fingernails against himself, and the image made him cringe a little, but when he glanced up to Noiz’s face, his flushed and wanting expression drove that from his mind.

“Take off your shirt,” Noiz said, his voice gaining a tinge of breathlessness.

Koujaku stopped his hand. “My shirt?”

“All your clothes. Take them off.”

Koujaku wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about this. He hesitated.

“Scared?” Noiz teased.

“No! I just—”

“Is this about your tattoo thing?” Noiz glanced away, as though disinterested, or possibly rolling his eyes. “Because I’ve already seen all that.”

Koujaku stared at Noiz, who was now catching his fingers on each piercing as he moved down, giving them sharp tugs and twists. When he reached the one closest to the base he let out a small gasp, his eyelids fluttering shut.

“Only if you do too,” Koujaku replied.

Noiz grinned smugly, defiant eyes opening. “Of course.”

By the time Koujaku had tugged his shirt off over his head, Noiz’s pants were gone, and his shirt was halfway off, revealing a pale stomach and a flash of silver under his belly button. His body, though thin, wasn’t bad. He could make out the lines of his muscles, though his bones also protruded under his skin. It was actually a sight that sent Koujaku’s blood rushing, and there he was, glaring at him impatiently as he took the last of his underwear off.

“You’re slow,” said Noiz.

“Shut up and finger yourself.”

Koujaku had been _mostly_ joking, but Noiz raised his eyebrows at him, silently asking, _Is that what you really want?_

Suddenly bashful, Koujaku gave a hesitant half-nod in response, unable to tell if Noiz was really going to do it or not.

He was.

Leaning back, spreading his legs, and propping up his hips for the camera, he looked over his dick at Koujaku. “Like the view?”

Koujaku didn’t answer and put his hand back on himself instead. Shit, he was so hard, and Noiz was too sexy, and as it turned out he wanted pretty badly to see him do this. And then suddenly it was happening. Noiz’s hand was beneath him, one finger curled so that it brushed against the tight circle of muscle, Without removing his gaze from Koujaku’s face, he pushed it inside, fighting against the resistance to slide deeper.

Koujaku’s eyes flickered from the sight below, of Noiz’s finger disappearing slowly into his body, to Noiz’s face, his eyes not betraying any discomfort but his eyebrows low and his cheeks red. With this image leading him, he wasn’t sure how long he could hold on. He slowed his hand and focused on Noiz’s pale twisting fingers, one almost entirely inside up to the knuckle and a second about to join it.

“Is it good?” Noiz asked, his voice low.

“It’s good,” sighed Koujaku. “I wish I could be there though…actually be inside of you….”

Noiz was quiet for a moment as his second finger pushed further inside, and he moaned a little in the back of his throat. “How would you do it?” His voice was losing air.

“Hard. And…fast,” were the most descriptive words Koujaku could come up with in his present state. His body was tensing already, his hips aching, wanting to buck forward into his hand. The image of thrusting into Noiz, of causing his current expression himself, was almost overwhelming in the amount of desire it stoked within him. He wanted those fingers to be his, driving far into Noiz, finding the places that made him squirm and moan. He wished he could reach out and touch those piercings, tug on them, reduce Noiz to a sputtering mess beneath him. But all he could do right now was work himself and watch, heart pounding, as Noiz curled his fingers into himself and let out a hot sigh.

“Nnh, Noiz,” Koujaku grunted hungrily.

“Getting close?” Noiz asked, teasingly, but his own movements were becoming jerky and uncontrollable.

“Yeah.” Koujaku’s voice was coarse. He didn’t care if Noiz knew it, he was already spread naked before him and stroking himself eagerly to the view of his lithe body. Noiz himself jolted as he thrust his fingers inside, his legs shaking and his eyes trained on Koujaku, running down his chest and stopping at his cock before returning to his face. Koujaku could feel them on him, burning into him, and it was so humiliating but it only made him move faster, breathe harder, want him more.

If he could only hold him, feel that heat on his skin, feel those muscles and that bone moving against his own, restrain him, know how tight and hot he was inside, hear his breaths and moans and sighs sung into his ears, that would be incredible. But right now all he could do was imagine those things, and watch, and feel his own muscles tighten and the tension build until he was burning with need all over and he wanted his close his eyes and arch his back but there was Noiz, and he wanted Noiz, wanted to see the way his fingers moved and how his body trembled with want.

And then Koujaku looked at his face, those eyes driving into him and those eyebrows low as he neared the edge and those lips parted with his heavy pants and moans, and Koujaku couldn’t hold back anymore. His whole body jerked, and release crashed over him and drowned him in white pleasure, his vision going blank for a moment as it surged through him. His eyes fluttered back open just in time to watch semen spurt from Noiz’s dick, his head thrown back, but his eyes open a crack just to watch Koujaku. And spent and satisfied they stared at each other, chests heaving, hands dirtied, just basking.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written anything like that before, hope it was okay...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk

Mostly, Noiz wasn’t aware that he was hurting Koujaku when he dug his fingernails in deep, when he clamped his teeth down on muscle, when he squeezed too tight and thrust too hard.

It wasn’t his fault, he told himself, not really caring. How could he tell if Koujaku was in pain or not? He couldn’t. He didn’t know. Maybe sometimes he’d catch that way his eyebrows knit together, usually right before Koujaku shoved him off of him, but how was he to know that that was because something hurt him?

And when Noiz would smirk and say, “What, can’t handle it?” Koujaku would respond, “I _can_ , but why would I want to?” And when Noiz would grumble, “I thought you liked it rough,” Koujaku would reply, “But I don’t like it when it’s _bad_.”

That got to Noiz a little bit. Just a little. He mostly didn’t care. Because it wasn’t his fault.

Most of the time Koujaku didn’t even say anything at all. He couldn’t know if Koujaku didn’t tell him, so how was it on him? Even if Koujaku _did_ say something, Noiz just didn’t get it. He couldn’t understand what that feeling was, that thing called _pain_ that made him want to stop. So why even bother trying?

Yeah. It was pointless. And if Koujaku didn’t like it…well he could just leave. Noiz didn’t care.

Noiz was pounding Koujaku into the mattress, his hands grabbing at his hips, his body low and flush against Koujaku’s back, teeth and lips leaving bruises among the petals of Koujaku’s tattoo. It didn’t hurt Noiz, of course, it only ever felt good. Koujaku was so tight and hot that Noiz could almost make out the sensation, he could almost feel the warmth on his skin. Though all he really felt was the pressure, and the frantic energy building in his lower body.

He shifted forward, changing his angle to go deeper, but suddenly something was different. Koujaku had grown quiet, his rough, stifled moans silenced, and his entire body had stiffened. Noiz only noticed because he was wholly pressed up against him, but when he reached around to grab Koujaku’s cock, he found it softening _fast_.

Noiz didn’t get it. He didn’t understand. He shouldn’t have to stop. This wasn’t his fault.

Then what was this weird discomfort in his chest?

If physical pain was anything like that, he supposed he didn’t really want Koujaku to feel it.

“I’m sorry,” said Noiz, gruff and quiet and reluctant.

Koujaku froze completely, and there was a moment of stillness. “What?”

“You heard me.”

Koujaku was silent again, and Noiz thought about covering up his embarrassment by just continuing on, thrusting forward, not caring and not feeling. But that would hurt Koujaku more. And somehow at some point it had become uncomfortable for him to see Koujaku hurt. Even if he didn’t understand and couldn’t sympathize. He knew it was unpleasant _somehow_ , and he knew it felt bad in some way, and that wasn’t something he wanted Koujaku to feel.

Suddenly Koujaku was separating their bodies, pulling himself out from under Noiz, leaving his arms empty. Noiz didn’t know what to do to make him stop.

“Where are you going?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Nowhere,” Koujaku replied, turning around, pushing Noiz backwards. He settled over the smaller man’s lap, lined himself up, and sat slowly back onto Noiz’s cock, grimacing as he was filled again. “I just wanted to look at you.”

Though Noiz couldn’t feel the warmth in his cheeks, he knew it was there, and he averted his eyes. But as Koujaku put his arms around Noiz’s neck and began to move, Noiz couldn’t help looking up and meeting those warm eyes, and a familiar tingling flooded his chest and flushed out the strange tightness. There was probably something better than hurting Koujaku, he realized grudgingly. Maybe he could never truly understand what pain was, and maybe something about it would always seem foreign to him, but he would much rather find this satisfying closeness than that discomfort constricting his lungs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in June for Noiz's birthday and then completely forgot about it until just now. It's totally different from what I usually write but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

He finds him in the rain.

Not just any rain but a downpour. Sheets of droplets drive towards the earth. Crashing recklessly into every surface. Drowning the potholes in the streets. The air is heavy with moisture and the thick stench of hot wet asphalt. Dusk’s light settles over three PM.

_I hope he dies_ , thinks Koujaku.

Noiz is a heap on the ground.

He’s black and blue and red under his torn and dirty clothes. It’s easy to guess what might have happened. He eavesdropped on the wrong people. Went somewhere he wasn’t supposed to. Picked a fight with someone dangerous. Gotten too cocky. Pissed someone off. Didn’t have Ruff Rabbit behind him. Tried to fight back. Failed. Now he’s too weak to drag himself out of the puddles. He couldn’t know but his body does.

_I’ll leave him there_ , thinks Koujaku. _I hope he dies._

Koujaku’s kimono hem soaks up grimy water when he squats. Noiz isn’t dead. His shoulders rise and fall with breath. He cracks open a swollen eye. Looks at the figure hovering over him. Snorts.

“Go away, old man,” he croaks.

He smears blood on Koujaku’s clothes as he’s lifted onto his back. It doesn’t matter. His kimono is red anyway.

_Why_ , he thinks. His arms are around Koujaku’s neck. Koujaku’s hands are supporting his legs.

Koujaku is lonely. Now Aoba has someone else. That must be why.

Noiz sits uncomplaining and shivering on the floor. In the kitchen. His back against a counter. Koujaku comes in. Koujaku picks him up. Koujaku throws him under the steaming stream of a shower. Clothes and all. Neither says a word. Koujaku leaves the room.

Koujaku has a first aid kit. Noiz tries to leave when he sees it. He says he doesn't need it. He glares. He makes for the door. Koujaku shoves him back onto the couch. He says he needs to stop the bleeding. He glares. He blocks the door.

Noiz grunts and lets it happen. It’s easier that way. He doesn’t feel Koujaku’s fingers. He doesn’t feel anything. Maybe disgust. At being here. At getting in this situation. Mostly at himself.

Koujaku feels a lot of things. Tender bruised skin. Scabs forming. A swollen wrist. A possible broken bone. Wounds. Anger. Dislike. Sadness.

Their argument quickly gives way to brittle silence. Then it returns when Koujaku _tsk_ s. Their words don't have meaning. They fight to fight.

Yet Koujaku covers Noiz in bandages. Noiz doesn’t try to leave again. He can’t until he’s done. And even then he doesn’t. Even as Koujaku packs up the supplies.

Noiz leans forward. Reaches out towards Koujaku’s waist. Goes to undo his pants button. Koujaku jumps back. Like Noiz’s touch burns.

“What are you doing?” he demands.

Noiz glances up at him. “I’m paying you back.”

“What?” Koujaku splutters. Incredulous.

“You wanted this, right?” Noiz looks bored. “You’re lonely.”

Koujaku freezes. His eyebrows low. His eyes cautious. His mouth open with unsaid words. Caught between confusion and anger. Uncertain. Vulnerable. Noiz shifts forward again.

“Don’t touch me, you little shit,” Koujaku says.

Noiz wants an angry Koujaku.

He reaches. Grabs. Works at the buttons. Koujaku protests. Pushes. Noiz swats his hands away. Continues what he’s doing. Tugs the zipper down. Koujaku exclaims and shoves him back. That’s not what he wants.

It’s not what he wants. But somehow it happens anyway.

Noiz gropes. Presses a hand against his crotch. Rubs. Squeezes. Koujaku tries to be in control. He’s the adult here after all. But he breaks. He breaks from despair. He breaks from loneliness. He breaks from anger.

Koujaku wrenches Noiz towards the bed. He throws him on. He presses him into the mattress. Face down. Grabs his hips and pulls up on them. Barely prepares. One finger shoved in. Half of a second one. Neither cares. Koujaku is too not there. Noiz likes the force. He smirks into the sheets.

Koujaku grinds into him wordlessly. Then holds his hips still. Lines up. Pushes inside. _Hard_. Noiz sighs. He’s being torn. Ripped to shreds. Rent in half. And it doesn’t hurt. There’s no warning. The movement starts strong.

Noiz issues commands. Harder. Faster. More. Until Koujaku’s fingernails dig red lines into his skin. Until Koujaku leaves more bruises than he had tended. Until Koujaku loses control. His sense flickering. His reality fading. Something overcomes him. His thrusts are violent. Erratic. He growls. Guttural and low. Noiz shudders and almost feels. His responding moan sounds weak afterwards.

Something is right. There’s pressure. And…pleasure. It’s trapped in Noiz’s hips. He goes to grab his own cock. Koujaku is already there. Grip too tight. Pulling against the piercings. Noiz’s breath comes in short puffs against Koujaku’s ragged gasps. His whole body might be hot. He grips fists around the pillow. He’s lost control of his legs. They’re twitching. Toes curl.

Teeth are on his skin. _In_ his skin. Noiz almost laughs. Instead, he whimpers. It’s good. It’s _really_ good. He’s going somewhere. Fast. And it’s going to be over really soon. But for a minute he holds on. He relishes in the strain. The tension.

It’s probably the closest he’ll get to pain.

He lets go. Lets his mind go blank. Feels everything and nothing at once.

Koujaku speeds up. Expended, Noiz quivers. He doesn’t wait long. Koujaku’s done as well. Panting and groaning with the last thrusts. Giving in.

They separate. They lie untouching. They breathe labored breaths and think. The rain knocks on the window. Wants to be let in. Noiz wants it too. Wants it to drench his whole body. Until he shivers and feels cold and drowns.

Koujaku puts his hand on top of Noiz’s head and leaves it there, feeling the soft hair between his fingers.

 

Noiz sits up. He doesn’t remember falling asleep. But now he is awake. Not just awake. Something had woken him. He’s muddled. He looks around for the sound.

Koujaku cries.

Noiz’s derisive laugh sticks to the inside of his throat. It stays there. As he puts on his clothes. As he sits to pull his shoes on. As he steps out into the rain. It’s the only thing that hurts. And it hurts and it hurts.

He would cry too, if there was something to cry about. There’s not. There never is.


End file.
